What We Don't Know...

I've returned now from my short trip, and have been talking with female friends who've seen a picture of me with the fire that I built. I was quite happy with building my own fire, and surprised by the number of women who told me that they never had, but always wanted to do it.

It got me to thinking about the ways in which we don't do what we've always wanted to do and the reasons for that. I hadn't built a fire on my own before, because somebody always stepped in, thinking they had a better way or knew more or just wanted to do it themselves. I think at my core, I like to be a peacekeeper. I'm laid back enough to compromise when something means more to someone else. I'd rather not get into a fight about something inconsequential.

What we don't know is that letting things slide like that, over time, can erode ones soul. We don't realize the number of things we let slide, for whatever reason, until they pile up into a crisis or resentment. What would happen if we just did what we felt called to do, and embraced the beauty of our own world of self-discoveries?

I've had a rule in my life, that I try to live my life without regrets.

When I wrote that, I meant to say that I don't feel very sorry about things that have happened in the past, so I make my decisions in the present regarding the future according to the philosophy that my future will someday be my past, and I don't want to feel bad that I elected not to do something I'd said I always wanted to do.

However, I took a look in the dictionary, and the Old Norse origins of the word "regret" mean "to weep." The first listing of the meaning of regret is "to mourn the loss or death of...to miss very much." That gave me pause, because I don't cry very much. Yet the number of things I've had to mourn in my life is significant. I feel the pain, like a raw wound that's almost healed when another wound comes to replace it. Yet, I don't weep for it.

Instead, I take my mourning out into the battlefield of life. I become an activist because of it, or an advocate for myself. I realized this week, that a part of my hawk-like nature informs me "hawks don't fly backwards." So too, when there is something bad that's happened, the survival of my soul calls for me to move forward.

This, in turn, goes back to that philosophy of my trying to live my life without regrets. I would most greatly mourn having given up and retreated, than I would the whole of the tragedies of my life combined.

What we don't know is that we can...we can build a fire on our own, we can take a stand on what we want to learn, we can go off into the deep woods and not only survive, but thrive. It takes planning and preparation, but those shouldn't end up as excuses of why we can't do a thing.

What we don't know is that we can trust the Creator and this world, and many of the people in it. I think it's easy to judge, based on our experiences, precisely who or what we can trust and under what conditions. But really, what it comes down to is being able to trust myself and my instincts. How many of us really don't know ourselves? We don't know what we're capable of until we've proven ourselves capable, and how many have not tried? When you know yourself, deeply and intimately, you know what you can do and what you cannot.

I know, for instance, I can crack climb, although I've never done it, because I know I can climb, so it's just a matter of adaptation and I know I'm good at that. I know I can go to the Yukon, because while I've never been there, I'm good with traveling to places I've never been and keeping myself safe. I know I can't hike a mile up a steep hill or I'll have an asthma attack, so I don't. Yet, the other things I'm called to do are far more adventurous than hiking up a steep hill, so why limit myself and think I can't do them, just because I've not done them before?

Each time I reach a bit beyond the scope of what I've done before, I find an opportunity to learn and grow.

FB friends: In what ways are you challenging the preconceived notions you have of yourself right now? What have you done in your life that you didn't think you could do that happily surprised you when you learned you could?